The Beauty in the Spills
by Valentina Delgado
It is easier to keep things inside and bottled up when it comes to our lives. But anytime we make a mess we run to save it or to clean it up, fearful of it spreading and causing greater harm. However there is this beauty and raw aspect in letting it all out. Letting life take its course and having zero shame in the events that have occurred, there is something there to be keen of. The things we have said out loud, or we wished we could've said at the moment. The secrets we wish we could tell the whole world and the crush we have, but say nothing for fear of unrequited love. I’ve lived in San Diego all my life, a city known for its coastal weather and amazing beaches. When I was younger I thought this city to be enormous, like it had no end and that there was quite literally an extensive population. However as I grow older, I realize only one of those things is true, the beaches are beautiful, but the city is small and everyone is sort of interlinked. Due to this there are certain qualities I spent so much time hiding, keeping them tucked in a bottle never to see the light of day, for fear of what these people might think. Now I realize they are the best qualities in myself. There is this fear of getting shamed and being embarrassed, however isn't that the whole purpose of life especially as we are growing up?
“Everything and nothing always haunts me” - Sky Ferreira
Sky Ferreira’s infamous lyrics from her song “Everything is Embarrassing" strike a chord in my mind and the minds of many others. Hearing this song is what makes me realize is it really all that bad to say nothing. I find myself thinking of the mess I made a week ago literally and figuratively, the nights I created chaos at a bar, or when I think of an embarrassing hookup that I wish I could take back, it all comes crawling back to me. However I think it’s best to let it roll out. To fall and break like an overflowing cup, let the darkness run its course. If I spend my time thinking and thinking I would be stuck in a never ending cycle. The spill is what lets all that energy out, the way our mind can let go of all those tragic and painful moments and heal, or make us happy that we were able to decide for ourselves what we wanted our lives to look like at an exact moment. After all, it’s what makes us grow as people and makes us take responsibility for our own spill.
